The prevailing notion among women is that the only real and worthwhile kind of love is the kind that you "fall" into - essentially stumble into.
I think that men and women have different perspectives on this issue. Most men (those who are not extremely physically attractive anyway) don't "fall" into love. Consciously or unconsciously, they have to work for it. They have to plan it, sometimes over a period of several years. Most men do this in many different ways. Some go the pretend-alpha route, which takes years of study and practice. A lucky few are born psychopaths or born with ambition, leadership qualities, intelligence. All of these carry more risks than rewards. Only a few are physically attractive. These attractive men can wait to "fall" in love. Those men who are only of average attractiveness can't.
In contrast, very few women in history have ever needed to plan in order to get a man. They are just born beautiful. So of course, when they see a man planning to get the woman he likes, they cannot understand it. Don't you just "fall" in love? Why can't you just "be yourself"? Yes, you can afford to wait for that kind of love, if you're a woman. If you're not an attractive man, you'll most likely die alone and childless, especially in today's serial-polygynous societies.
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