Male infidelity

In this post, I will try to explain why, if you are a married woman, in many cases you should not worry about your husband's infidelity, and in those cases where you should, I will explain what exactly you should worry about. I will deconstruct male infidelity, so that you can understand better what exactly you should worry about and what you needn't worry about.

If you are a married woman, and your husband cheats on you, these are the the things to consider:

1. If you and your husband are of similar age, your sexual power will wane faster than his does. The greater the difference in your ages (him being older than you), the luckier you are: the less likely it will be that he will leave you for another woman. On the other hand, if you are older than he is, he is more likely to leave you for another (younger) woman.
2. The likelihood that he may leave you for the other woman also depends on her attractiveness (age, fertility, looks, etc) and character. Needless to say, if you have nothing to worry about, then you have nothing to worry about.
3. If you do not have any children, he will have less familial ties to keep him in your marriage. A study has shown that marital stability increases with increasing numbers of children, up to 4 (and then plateaus).
4. You should always worry about STDs that your partner may bring and pass on to you. Of course, the degree to which you should worry depends on how promiscuous the other woman is. If she used to be a prostitute, then that's a cause for alarm, but if she is not by nature a promiscuous woman, then there is less cause for worry. Of course you can insist that he get tested, though STDs take time to show up.
5. If you live in a society that doesn't enforce the marriage contract or doesn't impose any penalties for leaving a marriage (such as alimony, child support, etc), then you should worry because it makes it easier for him to leave you.
6. If you married your husband in haste, then be fully prepared to repent at leisure. If you married the wrong kind of man, then don't expect your marriage to last. You will have to put in more of an effort than is usual to keep your marriage together.
7. If the other woman got pregnant as a result of the affair and there is a chance that the state may compel your husband to pay her child support, then you should worry because his resources will be going to support another woman's children instead of your own.
8. If the other woman's husband is the jealous type, and there is a chance that he is a threat to your family, then you should worry.

Is there anything good about male infidelity? This is a difficult question to answer. Women are subconsciously in competition against each other, even while cooperating with each other. There is a fine balance between the two. Women will tend to cooperate when they are fewer in number and men are plentiful. Women will compete when they are more in number and men are scarce. Life can at times be a zero-sum game. If other women's marriages fail, it can be to your advantage, but not always. For example, if another woman's marriage fails (thus reducing her fertility), your children will have less competition when trying to find a mate. On the other hand, your children will have fewer potential mates to choose from.

So instead of feeling righteous indignation if your husband cheats on you, try thinking about the issue rationally. Society might expect you to be indignant, and you can put on a show for their sake, but if you secretly know that there's nothing to worry about, then why sacrifice your happiness for what's "right"?